So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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