ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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