She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize