I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize