I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize