Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize