1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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