My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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