So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Terrible idea I love it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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