idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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