Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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