Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize