I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cockslap morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize