If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize