one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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