My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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