HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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