I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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