I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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