We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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