My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize