Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize