he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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