Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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