it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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