can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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