I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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