is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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