I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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