I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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