If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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