Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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