Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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