we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize