Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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