Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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