Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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