If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize