She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I cut my penus on the lid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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