Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize