she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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