I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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