my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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