Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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