If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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