i need an iv and a liver transplant
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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