My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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