Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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