Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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