just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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